My client sat before me an absolute wreck. She had been beaten down. By what, I had not yet heard. Her face was ashen and her eyes red and puffy. I could tell from these signs and her slumped posture that things weren’t going well. “What’s Read More >>
OPS – Other People’s SH*T
This is a phrase I use a lot in my training, Other People's Sh*t. Well, actually, I normally say, "Other People's Stuff." When someone asks me, "How did you handle that situation with that person?" I normally reply, "Not my stuff." People try Read More >>
Top 10 Reasons You Should be a Coach
Are you ready for a change in your life? The executives I coach are looking at what opportunities exist when they exit from their full time positions in the corporate world. Most have a plethora of experience, knowledge and know-how though don't Read More >>
The Swamp to Success
In my usual way of going against the grain, I'm focused on the present moment in my long slow climb to success. Most people are looking for the short cut. Most people are looking for the quick break. I'm creating mastery for myself Read More >>
Doing What I Hate
Today in my Motivational Book Group someone posed the question about how do I do things I HATE doing. Most self-development gurus tell you that you have to have a big enough WHY to accomplish things. I don't agree. Self-discipline Read More >>
2 Anxiety or Not to Anxiety?
Worrying a little too much? Do you have anxiety? Anxiety can be describe as: worry, nervousness, unease about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome which give you feelings of being on edge, fearful, afraid, anxious, and Read More >>
Cancer Induced Ah-ha
I hadn’t seen John, my former client, in about a year. We normally get together in January to discuss our goals and plans for the coming year. This year was no exception but John did send me a list of 104 new things he wanted to do this Read More >>
Get Certain with Uncertainty
I was chatting with a fellow coach today and we were comparing stories of people in our lives who love DRAMA. They love complaining about Trump, worrying about North Korea, and have anxiety over what will happen with Brexit. We just don't Read More >>
You Won’t Get the Job if…
The other day I was talking to a coaching client about a potential job interview that had come up. He was hesitant to pursue the offer because he didn't think it would take him in the direction he wanted to go and would further label him in just one Read More >>
3 Confidence Killers
Building confidence is a combination of the things you do, the way you think and speak and how you feel about stuff. Any combination of inconsistent action, bad thoughts, negative talk, and feeling lousy about yourself and the world around you Read More >>
What’s your evidence?
How do you know you're making progress on your life goals? Most life goals are either project type goals or habit type goals. It doesn't matter if those goals are related to your relationships, your career, your wealth, health or Read More >>
Dead Executives Don’t Get Bonuses!
There's a guy I know. Let's call him Salami Sam. Salami Sam is a really nice guy. He's got a beautiful wife, 2 kids and a dog. He's a corporate executive running a very big public company. Salami Sam is important - to a lot of Read More >>
Eating the Elephant in the Room
Have you ever been in a room where there's so much tension between people you can feel it? This happened to me recently and it was soooooooo uncomfortable. Waves of energy from the people in conflict poured out of them so strongly that Read More >>
A Difference in Meaning
Recently someone said to me that I didn't seem to be very happy. At first I thought it was an insult. I was taken back by the comment because I know my life and I know how often each day I say what an amazing life I have and how thankful I am for so Read More >>
Focus on the Task not the Outcome
Occasionally, I coach people on presentation skills. I know that a lot of people have a fear of speaking in public, in fact, it's the biggest fear in the world, and NLP has some great tools to help with the fear AND the presentation strategy, Read More >>
Mid-Year Review
It's half way through 2017. What have you accomplished so far this year? Have you hit your milestones thus far? Have you made 50% progress on your top 3 goals? For some of you, you may be lost. For some of you, I need to start with different Read More >>
Cleaning Your Environment with PIGS in your House
One of the key strategies that I focus on with my coaching client's is environmental control. If you're an alcoholic, that means removing the alcohol from your home, office, car, and any other place you hide it as well as avoiding bars, night Read More >>
Your Strategies Are ALWAYS Working
Your strategy always works. No matter what the strategy is, it always works. The question is: Is it getting you where you want to go? A strategy is a set of thoughts, beliefs and actions that we take to get something done. Read More >>
How Do You Checkout of Life?
I was at a party the other night and I was listening to a group of people on the couch who were discussing the latest episodes of their favorite TV series. One lady was describing how she spent a full day catching up on last seasons' drama so Read More >>
People Are Not Their Behaviors
Well, kind of. "People are not their behaviours" is a pre-supposition of NLP which took me quite awhile to grasp. Before I learned about this, my husband was told he wouldn't rise any further in the organisation he was working in despite Read More >>
Leading with the Negative
The other day, I was standing on the sidewalk outside a mall texting my friend when a solicitor began his rant about whatever goods he was selling. He was a young kid and I felt sorry for him as sweat was pouring down his face even though the Read More >>
Childish Goals
I hadn’t seen John, my former client, in about a year. We normally get together in January to discuss our goals and plans for the coming year. This year was no exception but John did send me a list of 104 new things he wanted to do this Read More >>
My Triggers
Have you ever heard someone say, "He really knows how to push my buttons"? I heard my client say it the other day about someone in his life. It reminded me of the buttons I have. In NLP we call these triggers. It is the Read More >>
What You Miss When You Crystal Ball Your Future
I have some friends who just swear by their psychic. They call their local (or sometimes on the other side of the world) fortune teller to ask about what's to come, what to avoid and what to look forward to. The other day, someone told me their Read More >>
Growth or Death, Pick One
The other day, I was going over someone's goals with them. For all areas of his life, for the next 20 years, he only had a handful of goals. When I asked him about this, he said: I'm happy with where I am. I like my job. I Read More >>
Walking Towards the Horizon
I was listening to a small business owner the other day and he said something I thought was quite profound. He said, Judging your success by where you're going to be is like walking towards the horizon. You get Read More >>
Being Disciplined Versus Self Discipline
Language is a funny thing sometimes. Understanding how our brain "hears" stuff is actually very important. Take this concept of being disciplined versus self-discipline. They're pretty much the same meaning aren't they? Or are Read More >>
A Wise Man Once Said
Wise men are great. Wise women are too. They say the smartest things sometimes. Don't you agree? Here's what this one said... People who look up avoid bird poop. It's true, right? If you're looking up, you'll see the Read More >>
Bring Back Rules
I'm standing at the taxi stand waiting for the next available taxi to come along. Up pulls a black cab (the expensive private-driver kind) that blocks the driveway as he waits for whatever passenger has hired him. The only problem is that he's not Read More >>
Arrival Syndrome
When some people reach their goal and "arrive" they tend to fall back and say "I've made it!" and then not stay on top of the behaviors that got them there in the first place. Comfy in your corner office you lose sight of the numbers. You abdicate Read More >>
Before You Set Your Goals
STOP! Don't even think about setting a goal or making a silly New Year's resolution until you read this! Some people make a big mistake in setting goals that aren't related to the roles they have in their lives. Roles? Yes, the different hats Read More >>
3 Things to Review Now
It's that time of year. It's time for me to sit down and review my year. This is one of the most important things I believe everyone needs to do to clear out the year and start fresh. In fact, I would recommend you do it more than Read More >>
The Power of a Good Parent
I've been meaning to write this post for awhile. It's been at the back of my mind turning over and over. And yesterday I was reminded why I needed to write it today. I'm sitting in a restaurant. I'm waiting for my food to Read More >>
Mini Attack on 360 Evaluations
When I talk to people who live in the corporate world, I hear a lot about 360 evaluations. I know they serve a purpose but here's why I don't like them: Most people I coach have an issue spending too much time being concerned about what Read More >>
Trance Yourself Out
On the last day of my NLP Practitioner Certification Course, my participants read each other trance scripts which they prepared during our work on conversational hypnosis. And after they were done, they proclaimed it was the best exercise Read More >>
The Power of Choice
Each and every day, we have choices, A LOT of CHOICES. We have choices on what time we get up, what we eat, what we wear, what to work on and how hard to work on it. Basically we have choices on what we do and say from the moment we open Read More >>
Choose Your Mentors Wisely
I may be a little weird but I don't take marriage advice from a counselor who has been divorced 3 times. I don't take health advice from a doctor who is overweight. I don't take fitness advice from a personal trainer who can't straighten Read More >>
It’s Not About the Certificate
The other day, I was working with a client on her goals and I asked her, "What specifically do you want? What does it look like when you're doing it? What do you say to yourself and what do others say to you? And what does it feel like when Read More >>
Are You a Learning Junkie?
I was discombobulated. Something was missing in my life & it was disrupting my inner balance. Suddenly it came to me: I hadn't been on a course, to a conference or even so much as a workshop in months! I had delivered several for Read More >>
All Ducks Are Like That
It sneaks into most of my workshops. It pops up in a lot of my conversations. I hear it pretty much every day from someone. Sometimes I even hear it from myself. It's the use of generalizations. You hear it when you hear words such as everyone, Read More >>
5 Things Preventing Success
When it comes to not achieving our goals, procrastination seems to take the blame a lot. If you think about it though, procrastination has a simple solution. Schedule it and get it done. Here are 5 other things that might be preventing you from Read More >>
Preventing Overwhelm
My client sat before me an absolute wreck. She had been beaten down. By what, I had not yet heard. Her face was ashen and her eyes red and puffy. I could tell from these signs and her slumped posture that things weren’t going well. “What’s Read More >>
To Build Confidence Demolish These
To build great confidence we first need to demolish a few bad habits. Today I was chatting with a few people about confidence. Why do some people have it (and sometimes an overabundance of it) while others lack it? For me, it's about awareness Read More >>
3 Tips to Really Focus
I have an NLP Practitioner Certification course coming up and one of my participants was concerned that she wouldn't be able to focus in class. "My mind always wanders" she proclaimed. Here's the 3 tips I told her to help her keep her attention on Read More >>
“And” Your Way to Success
Recently I worked with a coaching client who had a big problem. She had a prospect who was trying to minimize her proposal and remove necessary elements for the service to be performed. My client was pulling her hair out because she just couldn't Read More >>
5 Tips for Introverted Networking
I was listening to a podcast the other day and heard these great tips on Introverted Networking. You know if you're one of those introverts if the thought of going to a networking event makes your skin crawl. But there's a range of introverted to Read More >>
Try Isn’t a Bad Word
If I said to you, "try this" and handed you a piece of gooey pizza, would you lean forward as if to eat it and then not really do it? I don't think so. You'd probably take a bite and tell me whether or not you liked it. That's what trying is all Read More >>
How to Build an Awful Strategy
How do you build an awful strategy? I mean a really bad one that isn't going to get you anywhere? It's easy. Build the strategy based on a limiting belief. I’ve been doing some refresher NLP work and listening to some different people say stuff Read More >>
What comes before EQ?
There's a lot of talk in the corporate world about EQ or Emotional Intelligence. It works itself into discussions on leadership, management, communications and culture diversity. But there's something that proceeds EQ that is currently being Read More >>
Looking for Problems in All the Wrong Places
I've had several coaching clients with the same problem - they were looking for problems in all the wrong places. And by "all the wrong places" I mean EVERYWHERE. These clients had become experts at finding problems in every area of their Read More >>
What Have You Chosen for Yourself?
There's a pattern emerging in my life that I'm trying to stop. It's a series of questions my husband asks me when he gets home from work. Do you want wine? Red or White? Chardonnay, Pinot Gris, Sauvignon Blanc? It drives me nuts. I know it Read More >>
A Knockout Strategy for Your Mind
I was chatting with one of my former coaching clients the other day and he told me a story I need to share. This particular gentleman is a "former" coaching client because he is one of those types of people that like surpassing his teachers. And Read More >>
Do The Things You Don’t Want to Do
I got up this morning and I didn't feel well. I wasn't really sick, I just felt like something wasn't right. And then I went to the gym. I didn't want to go to the gym because I still didn't feel well. But I went and did my 90-minute workout Read More >>
There’s no T in SMART
If you are a self-development kind of person, like I am, you know about S.M.A.R.T goals. Some of my fans already know how I feel about "SMART" goals. But I had a phone call the other day that prompted me to clarify something. There's no T in Read More >>
Who Owns the Problem?
Many of us struggle with arguments and miscommunication because we don't understand this concept called problem ownership. And the reason we don't understand it is because "problem ownership" isn't a great way of describing what is actually going Read More >>
Stop Thinking Life is Easy
I was having lunch with my friend Cindy today. She's a world of inspiration for me. Today our conversation centered around her children and the trials of parenthood. We both have a similar idea of what it takes to be a parent. It takes a lot of hard Read More >>
Do you Have Disciplined Optimism?
I was listening to a podcast the other day and learned a new concept that I needed to share. It's called disciplined optimism. What it means is that you are focused on your outcomes while having a clear understanding of the facts of your current Read More >>
Are You Listening Too Much?
I've read a lot of stuff in social media about the importance of listening to our bodies and how important it is to tune in. As usual, I'd like to chime in with my own beliefs on listening to what are bodies are trying to say to us. I believe that Read More >>
Sick of Solving Other Company’s Problems
This is an age of technology that I'm not in love with. I don't ever remember being asked by the companies I normally do business with if I could give up my time to solve their problems. I don't remember being asked to be the "glitch finder" and I Read More >>
Are You Flexibly Capable?
We all have resources in our lives to help us achieve our goals. We have our strengths like leadership skills, the ability to negotiate or to resolve conflict, our capacity to work in teams or independently, our intelligence, our confidence, etc. Read More >>
Dysfunctional Motivation Works
For some of us, we are highly motivated by stupid stuff. Some of us are motivated because we want to prove ourselves to others. I remember one of my managers early in my career in the hospitality industry saying I would never be an entrepreneur. Read More >>
Where’s the Evidence?
On my contract with my 1-on-1 coaching clients, I explain my coaching process and my strict cancellation policy. The reason for this is that the mind loves to play games with us. You never know when your mind is "making you busy", busy enough to Read More >>
Can a Song Trigger Your Confidence?
To just read the post, scroll down past the video Do you have a song that you listen to that brings you back to a particular place and time? For me, that song is Boys of Summer. When I hear that song, I'm transported back to a Read More >>
3 Mistakes that Give You Bad Habits
If you'd rather read than watch, just scroll past the video Mistake #1 - Allowing Boredom to Set-In Boredom is the inability to take responsibility for our own entertainment. For me, it's about state change. You body Read More >>
How a Doberman Developed My Self Confidence
When I was growing up, I was a latch-key-kid, which meant that when I left elementary school each day, my house was empty and I had a key to let myself in. Both my parents worked and my sisters were older than I was and their school didn't get out Read More >>
16-Year-Old Goals
I hadn’t seen John, my former client, in about a year. We normally get together in January to discuss our goals and plans for the coming year. This year was no exception but John did send me a list of 104 new things he wanted to do this year. I Read More >>
How to Change Someone Else’s Bad Attitude
Have you ever been in a situation that was really uncomfortable and you couldn't escape? It happened to me many years ago when I was invited to dinner at a good friend's house. Myself and my husband hadn't seen our friend for several years as we Read More >>
Exercise Your Goals
Tip #7 Exercise! If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times. You need to exercise. So far in these self-discipline tips to achieve your goals in 2016, I've talked a lot about the parts of your brain that are in charge of making it Read More >>
Stop Watching TV
Tip # 6 - Stop Watching TV "What? Stop watching TV? You've got to be insane! That's how I relax at the end of the day." I've heard it all before. What happens if watching TV equated to you being poor? 67% of rich people watch less than an hour Read More >>
How Do Your Friends Affect Your Success?
Tip #5 Get Friends with Better Goals Darren Hardy, self-development expert, has a saying that goes like this: "You become the average of the 5 people you hang around the most." It's totally true! My sister and I were talking once about how her Read More >>
Fish Bowls & Self Discipline
Tip #4 The Fishbowl If you want to really succeed this year in the goals you've set for yourself, then get a fish bowl and let's get started on this unusual technique. The fishbowl technique is based on the fact that we all love getting rewarded Read More >>
How Your Food Affects Your Self-Discipline
Tip #3 Eat the Right Food for the Brain Willpower doesn't exist. It isn't real. You can't will yourself to stop yourself from a bad habit or avoid temptation. Self-discipline is real! And it works if you are doing the things you need to do to Read More >>
How to Discipline Yourself to Achieve Your Goals
Tip #2 - The 10 Minute Rule Wait 10 minutes before you succumb to temptation or decide not to start something. Let's say you don't want to go exercise. Just go for 10 minutes. That's it. Just 10 minutes. The likely result is that once you are Read More >>
Self Discipline – The New Craze for 2016
Is it possible to start a craze or a fad? I want to start one for 2016 that is related to self-discipline. It's the perfect time if you think about it. It's the year of the monkey and if you know anything about monkeys they are the ones that stay Read More >>
Flexibility Rules in Achieving Your BIG Goals
One thing that stops people from achieving big goals is their belief that it isn't possible or achievable. It comes from that notion that we are meant to have "SMART" goals: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time bound. It's rubbish Read More >>
Are Your Goals Tasks, Habits or Projects?
Did you know there were different types of goals? There are task goals, habit goals and project goals. Did you know that you need to have a different strategy for achieving each of these different types of goals? A task goal has a very different Read More >>
Being a Billionaire
The Lottery in the USA has climbed to a record breaking and chokingly high level of $1.3 Billion. Yup, that's Billion with a big B. Sales may see that number climb higher than $1.5 Billion before the draw on my birthday, January 13th. You can yap Read More >>
Get Addicted on Purpose!
The other day, I was working with a client who has an addiction. We were reviewing how he managed to stay addicted - what was his strategy. He told me about this book he read that stated that all of us were hardwired to be addicted. I understood Read More >>
Do Unto Others
Do you follow the golden rule of "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"? Are you a giver, a taker or somewhere in between? In the season of giving, you find that some people are givers. They give and give and give and really don't Read More >>
All in the Mind’s Top 10 Mindset Tips
As we are rounding out 2015 and getting set for 2016, I know this is a time when a lot of people start thinking about what they've accomplished this year (or didn't accomplish) and what they want to set as goals for the coming year. Whether it's Read More >>
The ABCs of NLP
Following up from last week's post on remembering things, I thought this week, I would teach you a really good memory technique called a peg list. And while I teach you the memory technique, I'm also going to tell you about 26 cool things to know Read More >>
Don’t Accept This Gift This Holiday Season
There’s a gift I don’t think anyone should accept this holiday season or for that matter any season! Do you want to know what that gift is? I’m going to tell you and first I need to give you a little background information. You see, it’s that Read More >>
Remember This
When it comes to remembering things, questions are the key. Our brains are like a vast landscape of information that has particular pathways to retrieve that information. If you have stored something in your brain consciously (this rarely happens Read More >>
4 Essential Steps to Stop Overreacting
My husband used to say that I was the Queen of Overreacting. And I was. Any little thing could set me off to exaggeration, flying off the handle and jumping to conclusions. Then I learned about NLP and I found all sorts of stuff that made me Read More >>
You Get What You Tolerate
When I first started studying NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), I was fascinated by how we program our minds. This programming first starts out unconsciously as we are children growing up modeling the behavior, beliefs and values of others. As we Read More >>
Are You Running East Looking for the Sunset?
It's important to know when we are using the wrong strategy to get where we want to go. If you run east to capture a beautiful sunset, you are using the wrong strategy. There have been many times in my past that I've been so caught up in a Read More >>
Using Adult Language at Work
Do you use adult language at work or do you sound like a four-year-old? I’m not a big fan of the news in general but the recent haze epidemic in Singapore has lead me to pay much more attention to the news than I normally do. I was delighted to hear Read More >>
Hazy Standards
Singapore (and other parts of S.E Asia) are suffering from the haze caused by people burning down trees to clear way for farm land in Indonesia. There have been days where the PSI rating (a measure of pollution) has reached over 300 - definitely Read More >>
Top 10 NLP Tips, Bonus tip
My phone just gave up last week. It was bound to happen. Google updated Android and my phone didn't like it at all. It was too much change too fast for my baby phone and it just died. It choked on the Lollipop and I became the sucker. So I got Read More >>
Top 10 NLP Tips, 10 of 10
I remember a time in my life when I couldn't let things go. I could hold a grudge for years if I felt I was wronged in some way. The way I kept my negative emotions going is by telling and re-telling the stories of how I was wronged by someone. Read More >>
Top 10 NLP Tips, 9 of 10
Have you ever been crazy busy? I mean, like "pulling your hair out" kind of busy? It seems like more and more of us suffer from crazy busy (watch out because a pharmaceutical company will come up with a pill for it soon - but I digress). I Read More >>
Top 10 NLP Tips, 8 of 10
History repeats itself. Or does it? Our brains like history. Our brains like generalizing information to match things that have already happened. We form habits this way. We also form bad habits this way. My husband used to love pointing out Read More >>
Top 10 NLP Tips, 7 of 10
#7 Outcomes When I first moved to Singapore, something very exciting happened - I got engaged! I was so excited about getting married within the year and needed to find a wedding dress. I was enchanted by the Cheongsam, a sleek Chinese styled Read More >>
Top 10 NLP Tips, 6 of 10
Tip #6 is all about overcoming rejection. Before I took my first NLP Practitioner Certification Course, I learned about NLP from Tony Robbins' live courses. There was one particular one, Date With Destiny, that changed my life in more ways than Read More >>
Top 10 NLP Tips, 5 of 10
People often wonder where my self-confidence comes from. It wasn't always there, mind you. I remember being unsure of myself and always concerned what others thought of me and consistently rejecting myself before anyone else had a chance to. I Read More >>
Top 10 NLP Tips, 4 of 10
4. Presuppositions "The map is not the territory." It's my favorite and most used presupposition of Neuro Linguistic Programming. When I learned about this concept on my very first day of my NLP Practitioner Certification Training, it literally Read More >>
Top 10 NLP Tips, 3 of 10
3. Metamodel My husband used to call me the drama queen. I was constantly complaining about everything. I would moan about the incompetent waiter at the restaurant. I would whine about the useless girl at the coffee place. The taxi driver Read More >>
Top 10 NLP Tips, 2 of 10
Are you like most people - do you have a negative voice that sometimes drives you crazy with its chatter inside your head? Well, I had a voice who loved to show me movies along with the constant commentary. 2. Submodalities I would start my Read More >>
Top 10 NLP Tips, 1 of 10
Over the course of the next 10 weeks, I wanted to share with you my favorite NLP tricks that have made a significant impact on my life. To do this effectively, I'm going to tell you the story of what exactly was going on in my life before I Read More >>
I seem to be a verb
No matter why a client walks in my door, there's one consistent message I'm delivering. "You aren't broken. There's nothing wrong with you." I specifically separate the "be" from the "do". I base this message on a presupposition of NLP that Read More >>