The other day I was talking to a coaching client about a potential job interview that had come up. He was hesitant to pursue the offer because he didn’t think it would take him in the direction he wanted to go and would further label him in just one category. He didn’t want that.
I countered with possibility.
“What would happen if you went for the interview and if they really wanted you, you could ask them to modify the title to suit your needs.”
That was rejected.
I countered again with possibility.
“Perhaps the job is more than what it seems. Maybe they haven’t told you everything yet. Maybe there’s more there than meets the eye.”
This was also rejected.
I countered with one last possibility.
“Let’s say you get the job and you create it into what you need it to be for your own development. You create opportunities to shine in ways you need to and you go after the types of challenges that will stretch you out of one category and into others.”
Again, the possibility was rejected.
When you approach possibilities with helplessness you will never get a job. Helplessness is when you see an opportunity and instead of jumping in, instead of testing the waters, instead of at least trying, you make excuses as to why it won’t work. People who are helpless won’t even put their name in the hat.
You also won’t get the job if you’re hopeless.
Hopeless people try. And then give up. It looks like this:
There was an artist I knew who decided to train with a master in a new medium. She had amazing talent in art in general so I had high hopes for her success with the new medium. After a few days of training you could see the toll that the new skill set was taking. Sometimes people forget how much brain power it takes to learn something new. All those new neural connections take a lot of energy. So this artist was tired. She was frustrated. It wasn’t as easy as she had thought. And on the morning of the 4th day, she gave up. It was hopeless.
Hopelessness is when you see an opportunity and you take it but at the first sign of a challenge, you give up. It’s pointless to try any more. People that are hopeless put their name in the hat then withdraw because they have a leg cramp in the first 2 minutes of the game. They lack the tenacity to complete the marathon, learn a new skill, or land the difficult client.
You also won’t get the job if you’re worthless.
Worthless people will try and also give up. But they give up for very different reasons.
There was a guy I knew who lost his job and was getting kind of worried because he had a job to transition to immediately, but it fell through at the last minute. Taken back by the set back, he started interviewing for new opportunities. As it sometimes goes, someone was talking to someone else and this guy’s name was thrown in the hat for a Vice President position. He panicked. He wasn’t a Vice President! He was just a guy who did some work. He couldn’t be a Vice President! He didn’t want to go to the interview. He was worthless.
Worthlessness is when we throw our name into the hat but feel that we aren’t worthy of staying. Sometimes it’s a comment that someone makes to us that challenges our knowledge or our position. Sometimes it’s just our own internal dialogue that makes us feel that we aren’t worthy. People like this lack the self-confidence to endure criticism, either externally or internally.
In all these 3 cases, only one of these people listened to their NLP coach and turned their limiting belief around. He may have felt worthless but a little “acting as if” he could be a VP allowed him to sit for the interview, impress the powers-that-be and land the job. Now of course, he is an Executive Vice President and has never looked back.
How will you respond to the possibilities that come up in your life?